{Apologies to a friend! This is a reply to an email from them and the questions raised were very good. This is my first reply.}
Bali is our sanity preserver these days. The anticipation and planning is wonderful. We ponder how life might go if we could up stakes and move there. Peter having a villa there makes a huge difference. We can really get to know the area that we stay in. We dream and fantasise about living there ..... long term residence may be a possibility. One of the attractions is that buying in the care that Kaylia needs is very affordable there .... in Australia it is completely un-affordable!
As you say, growing old is a bugga ..... I sympathise with you. The thought of having to look after Kaylia as I get older is very scary ... hence Bali!
I've seen the film version of Temple Grandin's book .... she is a legend in auty circles .... we've come such a long way since she was a child. I really take my hat off to Temple's mother ... she really did different things and went against accepted ideas. The film over-dramatised some aspects but it got the idea across. I don't think Kaylia has the 'squeeze' need to any great extent ... she likes it but it doesn't produce great behaviour changes the way it would if it was a big thing for her. Kaylia has her own versions ... beads, flapping, wind. Given Kaylia's aversion to particular sounds, I think swimming is good to her in that it would block out a lot of sound. She still uses her ear-protectors .... we have them close at hand much of the time. She uses them a school a lot.
I don't think that her reaction while visiting you is being unsettled/afraid ..... driving in the car is such a strong thing for her that unless the stop is something of equally high value (such as swimming or shops) ..... then she just wants to be in the car again! To sit round while we have a cuppa and talk .... that's very poor value in her eyes! Even if there was her favourite food, it wouldn't be very attractive. Perhaps next time we could all hop in the car and go for a drive together ... then drop you back at your place.
The comment about "autistic people don't need Psychologists or psychiatrists but benefit more from eccentric people, creative thinkers and computer programmers." ... that's interesting. I think that the parents and carers need the professional help ..... the person with autism? Their needs depend on the stage in life they're at ..... as a child, the need for a psychologist or skilled therapist is essential if the child is going to learn to cope with social interaction and with being a human. When their autism is as bad as Kaylia's, without heaps of therapy they would grow up with less social skills than the average household pet! I shudder to think what Kaylia would be like now without all the therapy we have done ....
Now you ask some questions about K's progress ..... good questions. I will use them as a base for blog entries. The blog does have a lot about what has been done ... it's just not recent. The answers to your questions were in the blog long ago!
Kaylia never used sign language ... she used pictures & graphics ... then progressed to speech about 18 months ago. The blog often gives examples of the stage that her speech is up to. The balance is between thinking ability and language ... as I said in the blog ... there's little point in being able to speak if she cannot think. As normal adults we take thinking for granted so much that we cannot comprehend what might happen if thinking / learning ability does not develop. The stimming is what stops Kaylia from learning.
Phew .... deep stuff!
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